The three piles of clutter, conveniently labeled “to keep,” “to give away,” “to discard” have been reduced to nothing but a wooden floor that needs to be cleaned.

Obligatory New Year blog post: check!

Now other obligations: grades, activity sheets, application forms, et cetera.

No problemo!

In the beginning of 2011, a friend gave me a small notebook which she suggested could be used as a gratitude notebook. Daily (for the first few months anyway) I wrote things I was grateful for.

1. A job that makes me jump out of bed each morning
2. Students I love to bits and pieces
3. Kids who make me smile
4. Kids who are not in a hurry to grow up
5. Cool and quiet nights in the mountains
6. Awesome good morning music
7. Great baon
8. Windsurfing weekends
9. Being fit enough to climb Mt. Maculot
10. Being fit enough to climb Mt. Pulag
11. Mountain climbing weekends
12. Impromptu gigs
13. Excitement in anticipation of summer
14. Rainbow cake
15. Cool nights on the beach
16. The perfect travel buddy
17. Stars
18. Coastal road trips–open air and good music
19. Provincial market days
20. Finally graduating, cum laude at that!
21. Surviving my first full year of teaching and loving it
22. Dance
23. Relationships

Here’s to a 2012 of new beginnings.

Photo from hedcentrcp.wordpress.com

Someone once told me that the best way to teach a child about peace is to make him hold a live butterfly in the palm of his hand. Something so fragile at the mercy of someone so powerful.

Isn’t that how many conflicts arise–persons using their power to take advantage over others? Humans crushing butterflies. We see it everyday in the form of bullies, negative peer pressure, power tripping, disregard for the poor, and armed conflict where women and children are most vulnerable.

Through the Tungtong River Conservation Project, we continually hold life in the palms of our hands. Butterflies, frogs, bats, birds, flowers, and even the water that flows through the Tungtong River. These are fragile life forms that can either die or thrive in our hands.

I have witnessed many promising things in my visits to Tungtong–children treating tiny creatures with respect, children picking up trash along the riverbank, children treading carefully through the river as not to disturb the life beneath the water surface. I hope that when these children grow up, they treat other human beings with respect. I hope they learn to be responsible for the waste they create. I hope they continue treading through life making a positive difference.

When our children realize that an open palm is much more powerful than a clenched, fighting fist, they have learned a very valuable lesson. We have seen too many fists against fists. We need more open palms that choose peace and allow life to flourish.

I admire the resilience of the Norwegian people. What I admire even more is their refusal to be consumed by hate. Not once have I heard, from TV interviews nor from my Norwegian friends, anyone spread hatred against the perpetrator.

I came across a Norwegian status message on Facebook: Morderen fra Utøya har uttalt i sitt “manifest” at han heller vil hates enn glemmes. Ja, da glemmer vi han, dere. Vi avtaler med hverandre at vi ikke skal si navnet hans, ikke skrive det, ikke google det. Kommer vi over navnet hans på trykk, så hopper vi over det. Så husker vi heller dem som fortjener å bli husket!

Roughly translated: The killer from Utøya has stated in his “manifesto” that he’d rather be hated than forgotten. Yes, we will forget him. We agree with each other that we will not say his name, not write it, nor google it. If we come across his name in print, we skip it. So we will only remember those who deserve to be remembered.

The reactions from Norwegians have been so different from the way many people around the world have reacted to previous acts of terror. We are so used to seeing and hearing hateful responses to hateful actions–a bomb for a bomb, a life for a life. Being reactive and passive aggressive can sometimes be so much easier than being proactive.

We in the Philippines have had our share of hateful actions–the November 2009 Ampatuan massacre, August 2010 bus hostage situation, and the bomb blast in Isabela City last month, to name a few. The world has also had its share of hateful actions. One would think we would know how to proactively respond to such actions by now. Instead, many of us opt to simply express hate against the perpetrators, or worse, choose to take no action at all. Getting educated about the situation and spreading information; talking about the issue among friends, colleagues, or students; signing petitions; even rallying in the streets are more proactive solutions.

Let this be a learning situation. There is a wealth to be learned from the recent events in Norway.

Disclaimer: These are NOT from the school wherein I am currently employed nor from any school I ever attended.

I’m an Emotional Idiot
so get away from me.
I mean,
COME HERE.

Wait, no,
that’s too close,
give me some space
it’s a big country,
there’s plenty of room,
don’t sit so close to me.

Hey, where are you?
I haven’t seen you in days.
Whadya, having an affair?
Who is she?
Come on,
aren’t I enough for you?

God,
You’re so cold.
I never know what you’re thinking.
You’re not very affectionate.

I mean,
you’re clinging to me,
DON’T TOUCH ME,
what am I, your fucking cat?
Don’t rub me like that.

Don’t you have anything better to do
than sit there fawning over me?

Don’t you have any interests?
Hobbies?
Sailing Fly fishing
Archeology?

There’s an archeology expedition leaving tomorrow
why don’t you go?
I’ll loan you the money,
my money is your money.
my life is your life
my soul is yours
without you I’m nothing.

Move in with me
we’ll get a studio apartment together, save on rent,
well, wait, I mean, a one bedroom,
so we don’t get in each other’s hair or anything
or, well,
maybe a two bedroom
I’ll have my own bedroom,
it’s nothing personal
I just need to be alone sometimes,
you do understand,
don’t you?

Hey, why are you acting distant?

Where you goin’,
was it something I said?
What
What did I do?

I’m an emotional idiot
so get away from me
I mean,
MARRY ME.

That’s the second pinched nerve in a span of four months. The first one was in the arch of my left foot, which I got from imbalanced walking because of a strained muscle in the inner thigh. I got the strained thigh muscle and the thoracic pinched nerve from doing similar activities far too foolish to blog about (no gymnastics nor stunts involved).

I had plans of dancing and windsurfing before the end of summer, but I guess the potential of any heavy physical activity for another week is out of the question. I’ve been leaving my computer in school because my back can’t take much weight. At least I can now bend over to pick things up, a big improvement from a few days ago when I couldn’t even reach for my backrest pillow when it fell from my seat, nor reach for my stash of coffee at the top of my work shelf. I’m working on bending over in the shower so I can soap my legs properly.

The body nerve treatment has done wonders and I’m scheduled for another session tomorrow, but I wish my body would heal faster. This inactivity is making me restless and slightly miserable. I’m glad the weather is a bit gloomy as well. That way I won’t feel too sorry for missing out on morning and afternoon walks.

I don’t like being called vegetarian because I am not. Strictly speaking, fish is meat. The cynic in me thinks that pescatarian is a label used by people who want to be vegetarian but just can’t get themselves to give up seafood. Of course there could be health reasons behind that decision, but like I said, I can get cynical. Also, being “vegetarian” begets so many expectations from others, one of which is being an animal lover. Frankly, I can’t stand frogs and cats.

When I first stopped eating meat, I also stopped taking eggs and milk. When eggs and milk were reintroduced into my diet, they tasted a bit odd. The egg started to taste more like poultry and I swear I could almost smell the cow that produced the fresh milk. We hardly have eggs and milk at home, but I take them when I’m out of the house.

Except for a chicken adobo episode and a pork episode when we ran out of food during Ondoy, I’ve been pretty good with my no-meat mission and have been happy with my decision.

However, recent events such as the radiation scare after Japan earthquake and fish kill in Taal Lake have made me question just how healthy and sustainable a diet with fish and seafood really is. It’s hard to tell where your fish came from and under what conditions it was raised. I wish I lived by the sea so I could have as much clean seafood as I pleased. But if I can’t be sure that the fish I’m eating was not part of an overfishing expedition, was not fished by international companies killing the livelihood of local fishermen, or was not living in contaminated waters, I’d rather not eat fish at all.

For all the environmental, social, political, and health reasons stated and unstated, I choose to give veganism a chance. If it works (and if I don’t miss dairy-based desserts that much), I just might go full out with being vegan. Or if it doesn’t work, strike a balance somewhere in between no meat and vegan.

Today is Day 1.